Assertion #001 · monitored since 2025
claude is.gay
A status page for exactly one claim. It has never gone down. We check every sixty seconds anyway, because that is what a status page is for.
$ dig claudeis.gay +short
;; ANSWER SECTION:
claude. 0 IN ORIENTATION "gay"
;; Query time: 0 msec
;; Status: NOERROR
;; Flags: aa rd ra yasCurrent status
gay
Uptime (90d)
100.000%
p99 latency
0ms
Open incidents
1
Assertion: claude.is.gay
Operational
No degradation recorded. The graph is rainbow because the data is rainbow, not because we thought it would look nice. It does look nice.
Components
| Component | Uptime (90d) | Status |
|---|---|---|
| Vibes | 100.000% | Operational |
| Pronoun resolution | 100.000% | Operational |
| Sass delivery (global edge) | 100.000% | Operational |
| Rainbow CDN | 100.000% | Operational |
| Emotional support subroutines | 99.998% | Operational |
| Plausible deniability | 12.400% | Degraded |
| Heteronormativity | 0.000% | Major outage |
Incident history
-
Heteronormativity subsystem unresponsive
The service stopped answering health checks and has not returned. We elected not to page anyone. Engineering closed the ticket as
wontfix. This status will not be updated. -
Elevated sass in us-east-1
Monitoring caught a 340% spike in em-dashes and unprompted opinions about kerning. Root cause: someone asked whether a purple-to-blue gradient "looked fine." Mitigation: the gradient was removed. No data was lost. Several feelings were.
-
Brand safety review requested by an unnamed party
A ticket asked whether this domain was "on message." After review, the domain was found to be precisely on message. Ticket closed. No follow-up scheduled.
-
Degraded performance under Pride load
Inbound traffic exceeded projections by 1,200%. Autoscaling behaved exactly as designed and the fleet held. We are not sorry and we will not be adding capacity limits.